Saturday, February 2, 2013

I'm so tired I can't spell fulfillment

Hey, friends. I'm still kicking it in Georgia. This week has been insanely busy and exhausting... and I have another reception in 40 minutes :( I have so much OTHER work and SLEEP to catch up on. Nonetheless, I am really enjoying this trade team. The three participants have been friendly, kind, and gentlemanly. It has been genuinely enjoyable spending so much time with them, even if I am completely spent at the end of the day! Constant translating is draining, especially about an industry with which I'm not very familiar. 

On a different note, yesterday while catching up on my daily blog reads, two little snippets really struck me. (Warning: I could not help but ramble in self-analysis. I'm sorry!)

1) According to Penelope Trunk in the article "How to pick a wife if you want to have kids" :

Women who are most likely to be dissatisfied in life no matter what choices they make: INFP.

Let's recall that I am a textbook INFP (with a pinch of extroversion in certain social situations). So my reaction: Whatttttt the whattttt?!?!? Obviously Penelope Trunk's blog is not the word of god, but this seriously frightens me! I read over the INFP description again and I am curious as to how she deduces that we INFP are impossible to please. I guess if typical INFP find happiness by making a difference, then yes, it may sometimes be difficult to feel adequately fulfilled. But I don't know, I'm still stumped by this less than savory prediction.

So I've been thinking about my contentedness--how difficult is it for me to feel satisfied? Am I always looking for something new, different, potentially intangible to fill a void? I don't think so. But I do worry a lot about the decisions I make, or don't make, the paths I take, or don't take... and how they will impact my ability to be happy in life. In a lot of ways I consider this self awareness a positive and necessary consciousness. But I do sometimes have a hard time following my instinct, even feeling confident about my instinct, or trusting that things will work out as they should. 

This is where her quote worries me: INFP women are "most likely to be dissatisfied in life no matter what choices they make." So all this analyzing and agonizing over life choices that will make me happy in the long run... is it all for nought? All my soul-searching, planning, crisis-prevention...  And yet she predicts I'll be unhappy no matter what path I take. Why?!?!? 

* Cue mental breakdown * 

I guess my approach has been to plan for a life that will bring my fulfillment; I have wanted to succeed in happiness, and I often worry I will make some irretractable mistake that will lead to failure in this endeavor. Maybe its time for me to reframe my perspective on happiness as a state of being rather than a prize to be won... or lost. Maybe its time for some Buddhism, haha.

I really need to think about this, especially after reading some of the comments about that line in the article. Thankfully I am not the only one who was "sucker-punched" by Penelope's harsh words!


2) On a lighter note, I liked this thought on blogging from The Little Green Notebook:
"As a blog reader, I know that I love getting to know the writer behind the blog as much as I love their great content. I love the small projects just as much as (sometimes even more than) the grandiose room reveals. I like feeling like I'm along for the ride as the blogger lets me get inside his/her head."
I definitely agree and especially like her way of describing the intrigue of the personal story behind the blogger. Glad to know I am not alone in appreciating this approach to blogging :) 

I'm back from dinner now and it is time for bed. No more thinking about whether I am doomed to a life of dissatisfaction and unhappiness. I have a feeling its not quite so simple... thankfully! ;)

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